i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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