it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you will always have a special place in my vag
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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