My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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