Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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