love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
