I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
