i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
