i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
