haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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