Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
