Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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