oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
