Christians are straight up FREAKS
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
