I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
