Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
