I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
