You really coming over, don't trick.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
