He is an equal opportunity slut.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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