i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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