found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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