So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
