??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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