Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
