id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
