eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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