Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
