After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
