so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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