you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
