I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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