There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The power of my boobs compel you
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
