Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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