I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
