my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
