I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
