The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
