ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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