I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
