Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
