A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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