im having a threesome with these popsicles
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
