Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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