Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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