I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Drunk is not a location!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
