Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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