I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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