what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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