He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
