I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
