everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
