his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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