Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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