Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
