sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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