you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
