I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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