coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
